Things We Are Sort Of Guessing: Aston Villa (H)

The Aston Villa Ex-Canary Globetrotters roll into town this weekend for 90 minutes (plus time added on) of association football. Whatever happens we will finally get an answer to the burning question of whether Timm Klose or Steve Bruce has the bentest nose as those Canary CBs of past and present have a proper schnozz off.


Opposition Overview

Villa are up there chasing automatic promotion still, though it looks a push as those above don’t seem to be slipping up. Norwich old boy Steve Bruce has done a decent job with the mess he inherited. In truth, they are one of England’s finest old clubs and shouldn’t be spending time in the Championship, especially with Mad Tony’s money and his grand designs on European domination.

They’ve just got back to winning ways with a resounding home win against Reading (sound familiar?) after a few disappointing results including a heavy loss at QPR (sound familiar?) losing away at Bolton (sound familiar?) and a draw away at Hull (sound familiar? What? Oh yes, that was at home wasn’t it?). That all came on the back of them giving the Champions elect - Wolfs - a 4-1 thumping.

Villa are the third highest scorers in the league, behind only Wolfs and Fulham, and have conceded the third fewest goals, behind Wolfs (again) and Cardiff.

We’re basically on the beach and/or in an extended pre-season though the players should still be playing for the shirt and their places. I predict a return to three central defenders and maybe we can have one of those carefree games on a sunny end of season day when the players just perform and send us home happy. Though I fear some rancour in the stands if the outrage towards the club/life in general that is evident among some of our fan base flows out from what I suspect will be a patchy crowd.

Can’t wait! RJ

Fun Fact

The beautiful and timeless song ‘Shit on the Villa’ came from a bawdy old Music Hall act popular in the West Midlands in the early 20th Century.

The artiste in question was Billy Smallheath and his act consisted of him being suspended on wires above a variety of model buildings, naked from the waist down with a Bungle’s finger half-way out ready to be crimped off. He would shout out his catchphrase ‘Which one should I drop it on?’ to which the response from the audience was ‘Shit on the Villa!’, which he would then do to rapturous receptions.

Smallheath had another part to his act where the audience response was ‘Up the Villa’ but that’s too crude to go into on a family-oriented Norwich City fan website. Even one that’s not thoughtful or worthwhile, like this one. He was staggeringly popular, the Jim Davidson of his day, though much like Davidson, his act was considered beyond the pale by polite society.

Thankfully with the advent of the wireless this kind of depraved entertainment disappeared over time, even from Birmingham. However, the song is still sung to this day when Villa line up against any one of their local rivals. RJ


RJ: With Villa still gunning for a potential automatic promotion spot, brim full of the confidence that brings and goals, coupled with our poor home form and end of season ennui, I can only see a resounding away win I’m afraid.

Rich Reckons: Hemsby Villa facing an inevitable fall off a cliff 0 - Aston Villa 3

CT: It’s all gone a bit Pete Tong. Villa are back on form, with everything to play for. We are off form with nothing more than finishing above Ipshit to play for, in the coveted ‘Pride of Mid Table’ Cup. Woo. Snoddy and Dougie Lansbury return to nFCR and as at least one of our former darlings is bound to score I can't see anything other than more Pete Tong-ness.

Clare Calculates: Norwich Shitty 0- 2 Aston Winners

ZW: Well everyone’s full of good cheer aren’t they? It’s really just very difficult to know which Norwich will turn up at any given point this season, as evidenced by our dreadful results in the prediction league. Let’s hope the lunchtime kick-off and balmy April weather confuses the players into thinking they’re Brazil, and not the Brazil who lost 7-1 to Germany (although that was quite funny).

Zoë Assumes: Pride of Anglia 2-1 Pride of the Midlands (apart from Wolves)

SW: I am out of the office now until Monday 9th April. If your requirement is urgent, please contact one of the other Little Yellow Birds. Unless you need some graphic design done, then UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU CONTACT RICH.

Seb Foresees: The information contained in this email and any attachment is confidential. It is intended only for the named addressee(s). If you are not the named addressee, please notify the sender immediately and destroy and delete this message from your computer, do not disclose, copy or distribute the contents to any other person other than the intended addressee(s). Our company disclaim all responsibility and accept no liability (including negligence) for the consequences for any person acting, on the attached information. Norwich 1 - Villa 1.