Things We Are Sort Of Guessing: Cardiff (H)

Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet. Till Cardiff come to Carrow Road, who hopefully we’ll defeat. Colin’s Cardiff Crew are up next at nFCR. What the bejesus will happen though? We don’t have a clue, but we have a guess.

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Opposition Overview

Cardiff have been in and around the top of the table all season though they may be in the process of monking it up at the last minute as the Terminator T-800s of Fulham have usurped them in the automatic places due to their relentless surge of form.

Cardiff have lost their last two, though they were tough games against Wolves and Villa, and the Bluebirds can justifiably claim that they could easily have won both matches.

The Welshmen aren’t leading the scoring charts, though they are up there, but they are the most parsimonious team in the division only having conceded 35 goals. So it will be tough for us to break them down. They don’t have any real stand-out stars, they are more of a team, and have solid championship quality throughout the side.

The fact they are right up there still, and from a chaotic starting situation, is remarkable really. It’s testament to Neil Warnock’s managerial abilities. Grit, hard-work and determination are the buzzwords of any Warnock side. You have to admire his work, even though he’s very hard to admire as an individual.

His latest outburst at Nuno Espirito Santo’s failure to shake his hand after Wolves’ dramatic and ridiculous win over his team sums him up. Absolutely pathetic and embarrassing. A nasty hypocrite, and a bad loser, though it is this last facet of his personality that drives his managerial success.

Few who weren’t supporters of his Sheffield United team will remember them fondly, just ask Gary Megson. So spare me the hypocritical, xenophobic outburst. There was only one ‘disgrace’ on show who was lacking ‘class’ and it wasn’t the Wolves manager. If you had any self-awareness you’d have kept your mouth shut, Colin.

I’ve nothing against Cardiff but I hope against hope we can perform against them like we did against Villa, and put a spanner in the works of their automatic promotion push, just to see Warnock seething once again.

I don’t think we’ll beat them, but I feel better for getting that out there. And breathe. RJ

Fun Facts

Vincent Tan, the owner of Cardiff also owns Malaysia. Last year he tried to trademark the word ‘Tan’ so he could licence it to all tanning shops and sun cream manufacturers across the globe. Fortunately he failed on a technicality when the Tanners Guild of Cirencester proved on appeal to the The Court of Justice of the European Union that the word derived from medieval Latin. This was a huge blow to Cardiff’s transfer budget as you’d imagine.

Tan’s ridiculous signature look consists of him wearing a football shirt over a shirt and tie and tucking it in his trousers. Listen pal, I don’t care how rich you are, it looks daft.

He was heartily disliked by Cardiff fans for changing the team’s shirts from blue to red. They’ve forgiven him over time now they have their blue shirts back and indeed have adopted Tan’s signature look in tribute to the great man, so expect to see a lot of oddly dressed Welsh folks descending on the Fine City on Saturday. RJ

Predictions

RJ: It’s not going to be a pretty, free-flowing game of football. Cardiff will use their street smarts and toughness to try and batter us into submission. With our occasional tendency to collapse like a well worn deck chair under such pressure, it could be nasty. Can we repeat our Villa performance and result? I don’t know, look at the prediction table below. I’m the last person you should ask.

Rich Reckons: Yellow Birds 0 - 1 Blue Red Bluebirds.

CT: After Saturday's surprising yet lovely win against Villa, I've decided to give up trying to predict any score to do with our beloved Yellows. We do like playing the better teams, but Cardiff are an archetypal Championship side rather than actually very good. They frustrate and wear you down into submission, and I fear we will surrender. But who actually knows? Paul the Octopus could have helped, but he is rather inconveniently dead.

Clare Calculates:  In the absence of Paul, I’ve asked Graham, our 72 year old, Arsenal supporting porter at work. He says 2-1 to Norwich. Not sure he is as accurate as our late eight legged friend, but he can't be any worse than me, so I will go with it.

ZW: Last Saturday was a lovely surprise, wasn’t it? It just goes to show that football still has the power to shock you even if you think you know it all. We’ll never speak of the Sunderland misses ever again, of course. It seems like Farke has finally bowed to the ‘perform at home plz’ pressure and perhaps he’ll want to put on another show this weekend. It was certainly lovely to see us play with a little more freedom, even if the midfield was completely all over the place. More of the same please, Yellows!

Zoë Assumes: Let’s go goal fest. Fine City 3-2 Wales’s foremost city

SW: After the weekend wonders against Villa, and the midweek mediocrity versus Sunderland, it’s difficult to know what to expect. That, in a nutshell – if a minor bit of footballing analysis can be confined to an analogical nut – has been the problem with our season. The inconsistency; the failure to score; the inability to win games where we’re often the better side.

Cardiff have it all to play for. The Premier League. The Promised Land. Gary Lineker’s big ears. Alan Shearer’s non-analysis. Malfunctioning VAR. That means they’re gonna be really bloody determined, and I reckon they’ll knock a few past us.  

Seb Foresees: Midtable iz Us FC 1-3 FC Automatik

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