Things we are sort of guessing: Derby (A)

It's the Derby before the derby. Will Norwich win? THEY MIGHT. Here's what the Little Yellow Birds think. 

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Oppo Overview

Derby are flying in the league at the moment. This, the first in a double-header of away games (with some other unimportant game sandwiched in between) against the division’s top two teams, will be a tough assignment.


County are unbeaten in 11 games in the league, they last lost back in November. Though that was at home and 1-0 to a team from East Anglia. Not even the best East Anglian team at that.

So they are on a roll, winning games and they seem to be a good shout for automatic promotion, although Villa have closed the gap in recent weeks. They are in the winning habit, and we know ourselves how that feels and how when in that zone teams just seem to pick up points relentlessly.

Last time out they dispatched Brentford 3-0 with our very own O’Cameron Jerome getting on the scoresheet, thereby breaking his duck for his new team.

Derby’s rise, coupled with Birmingham’s fall has shown what a laughable and naive decision Brum’s new owners took in dispensing of Gary Rowett’s services, when they were in playoff contention early last season. Rowett has done an excellent job since he nestled his pert, creamy-white buttocks into the managerial hot-seat at Pride Park.

As well as CamJam, Derby boast other ex-Canaries in their ranks in Bradley Johnson and Andre Wisdom. They also have Martin Olsson, though he’s changed his name to Marcus.

Chris Martin is also still at Derby, though he won’t be in evidence as he’s working on getting banned from all the pubs in the Thames Valley whilst on loan at Reading. RJ


Fun facts

Derby striker Dave ‘jolly gap-toothed scouser’ Nugent has been a professional footballer for 40 years and has played for over 20 clubs.

He’s known for his trademark of scoring against Norwich and then doing a snide gesture to our fans. Nugent is one of those players you love if he plays for you, but hate when he’s with the opposition. Despite his many clubs he’s never played for us so I hate him.

Away from the pitch however Nugent isn’t a spiky twat, and indulges in many gentle hobbies such as Oshibana and Quilling. He’s also a renowned Chamber Music buff and plays Soprano Clarinet in the Borrowash Chambre de Lumière ensemble. Nugent is also good to his Mum and does some good work for charity, but doesn’t like talking about it.

Despite all that he’s still a prick, uses the word ‘banter’ unironically, calls people ‘Legend’ and is certain to score against us. And then do a snide gesture.

Derby’s nickname, The RAMS, comes from Dominic Baseball from Chaddesden who was a pioneer of computing. Baseball worked alongside Freddie Williams and Tom Kilburn in developing the Williams-Kilburn Tube back in the 1940s. This was the earliest form of random access memory, or RAM, in the world. A key moment in the development of modern computing as we know it.

Williams and Kilburn became famous and rich from the research, but Baseball’s work on the project was uncredited by Manchester University and he died alone, in a bedsit in Wigan in 1952, a sad and bitter man.

He was honoured by his home city, however, with the football club naming their former ground in his honour as well as adopting ‘The RAMS’ as their nickname. Baseball’s legacy lives on.

Baseball is from quite a famous family. His Great Uncle, Tobias, was a keen Softball player and represented Great Britain at the sport in the Empire Games of 1852. He later emigrated to the United States, taking his love of Softball with him. The locals took to the game and made it their own, naming it Baseball in his honour. RJ



RJ: I can’t see us doing a 1-0 to the Farkenal here. Derby are in that winning habit that we’ve been in before. Plus Nugent will score, and probably CamJam. I can’t see our attacking efforts bearing fruit here either. Soz. Hope I’m wrong, obvs.

Rich Reckons: Did I mention that Nugent will score? He will. We will lose. Derby County 2 (Nugent, Jerome) - Nelson’s County 0.

ZW: Derby were impressive at Carrow Road, but not as impressive as me being able to guess their entire starting XI in the pub before the match. They’ve been underachieving for years and they have some impressive Championship players, as well as Stevi Ritchie from the X Factor moonlighting as a defender called Keogh. Derby must be firm favourites, but we’ve done well away from home as underdogs before this season. Let’s go for a well-earned point.

Zoë Assumes: Would take a draw now, so that’s what I’ll plump for. Derby County 1-1 The Mighty Yellows

CT: When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Tough, tough, yeah, huh huh huh. When the going gets tough, the tough get ready.

Tough, tough, tough

Yeah, oh, do da do da

Norwich have got something to tell you, Norwich have got something to say, they’re gonna put this dream in motion, they never let nothing stand in their way...

...which is a double negative and something therefore very definitely does stand in our way, that being second-placed-unbeaten-in-11 Derby County.

Clare Calculates: Time to show your mettle, lads. I really want Angus to break the away clean sheet record, and The Wall is strong, but I can't see a win here, particularly with Derby’s opera* of Canaries. We can only hope they are off-key.

CamJam’s new boys 0-0 CamJam’s old boys.

* Google it.

SW: I keep mixing up the derby with the Derby. It’s really quite confusing. Did Mr Fixture List Machine not think of the difficulty I might have when spitting out the schedule? Curse him. Our boys will have just as much difficulty at the IPRO on Saturday, but I’ve got a sneaky feeling we might win this one. Jerome and Jerome’s replacement both to score.

Seb Foresees: Derby 1-2 Norwich, but I’d also be more than happy with a draw.

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