Things we are sort of guessing: Sheffield Wednesday

Oh good, it’s the football again. Sorry, I mean WOOHOO, FOOTBALL RETURNS TO CARROW ROAD! Prepare yourselves for a preview, fun facts and dreadful predictions from the LYBP team.

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Preview

Football’s going well at the moment, isn’t it lads? It seems like years since Norwich won a game, or scored more than once, or did anything particularly good. Perhaps I’m being too harsh, and winter’s darkness has clouded my judgement. There’s loads of things to be excited about, right?

The Owls come to (n)FCR in similarly manky form to their avian counterparts. Their squad is absolutely jam-packed with expensive players and yet the fans are calling for the manager to be replaced and they lie 12th in the Championship table, just three points ahead of Norwich. Wednesday have drawn four of their last five fixtures, and according to their supporters it is for the draw that the team sets up, showing little attacking urgency. Sky must be thrilled they picked this one.

Presumably, we will have to deal with Fat Gary scoring at least three goals and Jacob Butterfield - fighting talk from Mother Butterfield ringing in his ears - producing an inspired performance. If we deal with it now, it’ll be easier to cope with on Saturday.

Sheffield Wednesday and Norwich will both expect to be in a far more generous league position come the season’s end, but which of these current underachievers will emerge victorious? Carlos Carvalhal and Daniel Farke will have their own fans on their back if their team does not start well, so it could be a crucial first 15 minutes in which to gain momentum and vocal support. ZW

Fun Fact

Barn Owls can eat up to 1,000 mice a year. We can only assume this is Gary Hooper’s primary diet, along with chips.

Predictions

ZW: Seriously though, we’ve got to win again at some point, haven’t we? I think we’ll turn on the charm for the Sky cameras, and do a win.

Zoë Assumes: A hard-fought 2-1 victory and some blessed relief for Canaries fans.

CT: I fear for the neutral viewers of Sky. Super Saturday it is not. Though in saying that the lads were pretty hard done by at Cardiff, so maybe they can channel that frustration and put it towards getting more than one goal. I know, it's a big ask.

It's also going to be a cold old night, so if they can ensure we get to jump up and down a few times (preferably in celebration rather than fury) that would be lovely. If not the alternative is joining Hoops afterwards for a warming curry instead. And he's likely to scoff the lot.

Clare Calculates: I really, really, really want us to thrash them. But it'll probably be 1-1.  And I'm the queen of predictions now.

RJ: Saturday teatime, what a rubbish time for what will be a rubbish match between two rubbish teams. Or will it? Yes, it will. It’s hard to envisage a belter of a game. It will be cold and the only advantage of the late KO time is the additional pre-match refreshment opportunity it affords. This may help the atmosphere, initially anyway. Yet still I go, no question. It’s a bit like when you have a sickly relative. You keep going out of duty and look forward to them getting better. Which may be as soon as Saturday.

Rich Reckons: A thumping home win as everything clicks for us for a change. Canaries 3 - Wols 0.

SW: My only fear is that Barn Owls are nocturnal and Canaries are not. Oh, and the fact Oliveira has recently decided to be total shite. Mainly the fact Owls can function in the dark though. Yep, definitely that.

Seb Foresees: We just can’t go on losing. Surely not. I think we're due a game where something unexpected happens and then it all goes a bit mental. Twit. Twoo. 3-2! 

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