A Few of my Worst Norwich Things

There has been quite a lot written about Norwich City of late, but nothing quite like this. Let Richard Jeffery guide you on a musical journey through some of the most *special* NCFC moments. All together now..

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The scene: The LYBP crew’s Christmas party. The crew are a bit down and are all a little despondent about the team, so Rich tries to cheer them up a bit:

Rich: “You know what guys? Whenever I'm feeling unhappy with the state of Norwich City, I just try to think of even worse Norwich things.”

Zöe: “What kind of things?”

Rich: “Well, let me see. My worst Norwich things...”

 

Hat wanker Walker and Sutton departed

O’Neill resigning and new boardroom carpet

On loan to Nationwide, Chase out we sing

These are a few of my worst Norwich things.

 

‘Worthy Out!’ website, the season unravelled

Cheering for Burnley and Doc’s Rugby Tackle

Useless Neil Doncaster’s shit-eating grin

These are a few of my worst Norwich things.

 

Peter the Pointer and Glenn Victor Roeder

Archibald-Henville and Omar Koroma

“I missed your tenure”, more loans coming in

These are a few of my worst Norwich things.

 

When the game’s shite, when the crowd whinge

When the fans are sad

I simply remember my worst Norwich things

And then I don't feel so bad.

 

Clare: “Does it work?”

Rich: “Of course, what were your worst Norwich Things?”

Clare: “The 6 – 1 at Port Vale!”

Seb: “Losing 5-0 at Portman Road!”

Zöe: “Being banned from Europe!”

Seb: “Losing on penalties in Cardiff!”

Clare: “Eadie leaving!”

Zöe: “Bellamy’s broken leg!”

Seb: “Coventry’s 1985 miracle!”

Clare: “Losing to Sunderland in the FA Cup semi-final!”

Seb: “Rioch resigning, then getting Hamilton as manager!”

Clare: “Fernando Derveld!”

Zöe: “Ricky Van Wolfswinkel!”

All: “Gesundheit!”

Rich: “See what fun it is?”

 

Bryan Gunn as gaffer, his teams were so slapdash

Watching them play was a slow-motion car crash

No show at Charlton, the useless cretins

These are a few of my worst Norwich things.

 

Losing convincingly to non-league Luton

City Stand Ultras throw clappers at Hughton

Scouring Europe we lost our bearings

These are a few of my worst Norwich things.

 

Russ Martin’s back pass and Muscat’s leg-breaker

Gunny’s scum air kick, and Megson’s late header

Six nil at Fulham, was really bobbins

These are a few of my worst Norwich things.

 

When we’re losing, club’s a shambles

No fun to be had

I simply remember my worst Norwich things

And then I don't feel so bad.

 

With apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein, Julie Andrews and fans of musical cinema everywhere.