Things we sort of learned - Leeds United

Yay. We lost again. And it was cold. And it rained. If only there were two fine, interesting people there willing to tell their side of the story. Sadly, we only have Clare T and Rich J so listen up y'all.

 Louis Louis

Louis Louis

Gloomy skies
Before the game Rich and I decided to be positive in our post-match musings, no matter what unfolded before our eyes. Fed up with all the misery, we wanted to inject a bit of happiness. It started off ok, I’ve certainly seen worse first halves, and even Robbie accidentally did something right and scored a goal. 1-0 half time. Not too bad.  We can be positive about this. The events in the second half proceeded to suck the life blood out of us all. It was so utterly predictable. There was a brief moment of respite when Big Kyle scored, but then….

So, sorry. There is not much positivity to be seen here. The misery won.

Even the weather was more than appropriate. Great dark storm clouds gathering above, torrential downpours, interspersed by period of bright sunshine. Forget what was happening on the pitch. Everything you needed to know about Norwich City’s season to date was happening in the sky. In fact, it was probably the most accurate analysis of all. CB

Damp squib
"Norwich, surrender on the fifth of November.
Vintage season, it’s not.
I see no reason why this season,
We’ll end up at the top.”

If you came here for weak, seasonal puns then pull up a chair and warm your toes on my BONFIRE of the inanities.  

It was an insipid DISPLAY. We were expecting FIREWORKS, but all the EXPLOSIVE play came from Leeds. The players have lost their SPARKLE, and need a ROCKET from the Manager, or our season won’t end with a BANG but a whimper.

OK, so that’s out of the way.

We’ve been completely rumbled. Leeds are the latest team to prove this. We play one up top every week, if you don’t over commit we can’t break you down very easily. Our defence and keeper are awful on the ball and if you press them then mistakes ensue. Our midfield is weak, seems to be out-muscled every game, overplays and is easily bypassed by strong runners. Our defence is prone to basic errors, and is particularly susceptible to corners/free kicks. We have no street smarts, and no leaders.

On top of that we are mentally weak, soft, easy to play against, and look like we’re not up for a battle.

A PENNY for Alex Neil’s thoughts, the GUY has problems.

Stick a FAWKE in me, I’m done. RJ

I have a theory that we secretly sold Robbie in August, and the man running around on the pitch in front of us is a poor imposter. We must have found a doppelganger, who unfortunately appears to be pretty shit at football. It’s the only logical explanation. The man (whoever he is) looked completely disinterested and half-hearted in everything he did. Hell, half is being generous. I’ll give him a ‘quarter’ hearted at a push, and that’s because he scored. But as the old saying goes, one goal does not a good performance make (it’s definitely a saying. Honest). There was one particular pass in the second half, when he had time and space to think, and he crossed it over to our number 13, Empty Space. We haven’t witnessed such spectacular pass since Ricky saw that ghost.  A chorus of boos erupted, and they were not entirely inappropriate.  Robbie Booorady was subbed soon after, but in truth our number 12 has already left the building. CB

In defence of Timm
Timm is a shadow of the player we all fell in love with. I still love him though. His performances have got worse over time, but then playing in that back line would do that to anyone. Take that alongside the fact we can’t defend in the most basic situations, and fingers have to be pointed at the coaching.

All the Leeds goals today were easily preventable. 1) We had numerous chances to clear the attacks which led to the corner but failed to do so. Corner into the six yard box, another free header, keeper nowhere and a player steps off the post leaving space for ball to drop over him. 2) Well worked but Olsson got done too easily. Pritchard left the runner who assisted the goal and cover wasn’t across fast enough to the scorer. 3) Not quick enough to close him down, keeper could see it all the way but lets it skid under him.

Just poor. It’s really basic stuff.

We have three regular international defenders and an international keeper in our back 5. Yet we’re leaking goals, like an incontinent pissbaby, in the Championship. They’re good enough for their countries, so what’s going wrong at Colney? As I’ve said before this has been going on for a long time now.

What do they do in traynun Nayul? RJ

We followed Trevor and Christine to the game today. I don’t know Trevor and Christine, and didn’t meet them today, but I like them. They have a nice car with a Norwich City number plate with the club badge on. Their personalised registration number ends in TAC for Trevor and Christine, and at the bottom of the number plate was written Trevor and Christine - OTBC. They also had a Norwich City car aerial topper.

I liked what they’d done and I liked them. I thought; they love Norwich, love each other, love going to games together and they’ve captured all of this in their number plate.

When our relegation was confirmed the night we played Watford (H), I consoled myself that at least the Championship would be fun. Watford (H) was shit in a way, with shit defending and no star players on show, it was like a Championship game and it was hugely fun. Goals, singing. Our fans were amazing, and yes there was defiance and support for the team and manager in our singing, but also we all realised it was going to be OK this season. It was going to be fun again.

So I was looking forward to the Championship bringing the fun back.

But it’s not been much fun to date has it? Certainly not today, or last week. Or the week before that. Or reading the message boards; or the #ncfc twitter feed; or the Pink Un; or, well, everything. I bet Trevor and Christine felt the same today, but at least they still have each other. Of course, we’ll be back next time though, as will Trevor and Christine.

But, will the manager? RJ

A love letter to Louis
Thank you, Louis Thompson. From the bottom of our hearts. You gave us one solitary reason to smile. Your energy, your purpose, it reminded us of how football should be played. It was almost bittersweet, surrounded by a sea of abject displays. We rejoiced in your attacking purpose, your physical presence in the tackle, your calmness in possession. The youngest player on the pitch yet you showed more experience than any. You lifted our hearts when we felt lost. Unquestionably Man of the Match. And we love you for it. CB

Clare and Richard are on Twitter.  If you add them both within eight seconds, you win a prize.