Things we sort of learned - Rotherham

Rotherham came, they saw, they did not conquer. Or even play conkers. They left Carrow Road with just a piece of string having been Wessed right in the face. Richard Jeffery and Zoe Whitford watched the win.

 The Wes.

The Wes.

In your stupid face, Einstein.
Like only the very finest wines from the best vintages, Wes is improving with age. I’ve said before we’re privileged to have him and, when he’s gone, will look back on having watched one of the game’s genuine one-offs.

Watch his goal back again. I can’t stop. First of all it’s a great run from the little sorcerer, he runs into space away from Greg Halford outside the penalty area, Halford doesn’t go with him.

This makes the little sorcerer's apprentice, (the not quite as little) Pritchard’s mind up for him, and he plays a great ball through the defenders legs. Weslington drives into the box with the tailing Halford now desperately trying to make up ground. Wesley receives the ball as only he can, bends time and space to his will and does something indescribable (but kind of like a reverse Cruyff turn with added elbows and arse) which breaks all the laws of Physics. Wessi throws such a dummy that the poor old Greg runs about 10 yards past him before he realises what’s happened.

The Wesler then has to take a touch to prevent a covering defender snaffling the ball and then our hero is confronted with that defender and ex-City stopper Camp blocking his route to goal. The Wesmeister then does a textbook Cruyff turn, sits them both on their arses and passes the ball into the net. For fun.

It was so brilliant and joyous, we laughed as we celebrated.

Apart from that he was everywhere. In the box winning headers on goal, winning headers in midfield, tackling back like a tiger and just sublime on the ball. One goal, one assist and a truly heartfelt standing ovation when he was substituted.

Today was a masterclass from him, and leads you to believe he can go on for a few seasons yet.

I heart him. RJ

Dorrans to Olsson
There was a period in the second half where it seemed that Graham Dorrans was only allowed to pass it left to Martin Olsson. It reminded me of the Ant and Dec classic We're on the Ball: Campbell to Rio, Rio to Scholesy, Scholesy Gerrard. Except this was Dorrans to Olsson, and every one of those passes was perfect, and Rotherham didn't even slightly catch on. It got to the stage where Dorrans was doing it without looking first. I get the sense he was about to shout 'BRING ON THE BLINDFOLD' but then we conceded and I don't think that would have gone down well with the manager. ZW

The Little People
Lots of them on show today. The aforementioned Wessle of course (1.68m - or 5’5” if you’re well Brexit) and Pritch (1.71m - 5’6”) for us. I’ve covered Wes in depth (not much, eh, eh?), but Pritch was great as well today. The assist, lots of lovely touches to set others on their way and just to gain or maintain possession. I look forward to seeing more of him.

Rotherham had a little person of their own, Jon Taylor (1.73m - 5’7”) who was at the heart of a lot of their good stuff, particularly in the first half and had a goal disallowed for what may have been a harsh offside call in the 2nd.

The three of them buzzed round like bees pollinating the game with their skill. As tenacious, yappy terriers they bounced about the field. Like short men who are good at football, playing football.

So little people = good yeah?

Well no. Not all of them. The referee was James Adcock, I can’t find a height on the information superhighway for him but he was just under a Pritch I reckon. He didn’t give us a lot. Turned down three pelunty appeals, failed to book Blackstock for stamping on Timm in mid-air and generally was a bit sniffy.

The little shit. RJ

As I took my seat in the South Stand I noticed we all had something in our seats. Not bloody clappers again, surely? No, it was a leaflet requesting very politely that people stop leaving so early and lingering at the front of the stand and getting in people's way. This struck me as one of the most Norwich City things ever: these are people wanting to get off to beat the traffic, poor game management from Alex Neil, winning every week is boring (delete as appropriate). The problem is that there aren't many NCFC games that aren't still exciting until the very end. These early bolters are keen to stand up but can't actually bring themselves to leave. I think the leaflet was a little too polite. It should have just said ENJOY THE WHOLE GAME, WHY NOT?  ZW

Clapping everyday things
Why do some people clap when the attendance is announced? I know we do better than some in terms of how many we get in the ground. No names, though I’m obviously referring to Ipswich, but come on.

When you clap the attendance announcement, it means one of three things.

  • You’re impressed when you hear big numbers said out loud.
  • You’re proud of the fact you managed to get from home to somewhere else unscathed (do you clap yourself when you get home again?)
  • You’re impressed that a lot of people can perform the necessary everyday human functions which enable them to go somewhere for a bit. (Do you give people in Sainsbury’s a round of applause, or the doctor’s surgery?)

Stop it already. RJ