Things We Sort of Learned

A good point against an excellent side, or a sign that everything’s going to go wrong and we should all be booing and crying and moaning? Clare Thomas and Jon Rogers on stuff they learned from Norwich v Sheffield Wednesday  

Stars dimmed
I don’t know what happen to our star players. Maybe it was just too confusing for them that we played Wednesday on a Saturday.

Robbie Brady’s right root was a useful as a banana in a sword fight, Cameron Jerome’s touch was heavier than a shot-putter, Wes Hoolahan’s performance was more on and off than faulty strobe light and even the ever-so-reliant Jonny Howson looked like his tonsillitis had flared up again, but this time in his toes.

Yet, we didn’t lose. If we can get a win against a good Bristol City team on Tuesday, it would have been a very solid start with additions and key injuries to return. JR

Passing problems
I once dropped a four-pint of milk into some fresh squashed mashed potato. Must have slipped out of my fingers with the oodles of butter I’d curled into it. After I stirred it, trying my best to salvage my dinner, it resembled wallpaper paste, and yet, that potato and milk soup still wasn’t as sloppy as Norwich were on Saturday. 

Our passing had the vision, weight and accuracy of the non-darts player from Bullseye. JR

Pinto puckers up
Ivo Pinto is causing a bit of a stir.  Not content with thrilling us all with his love of social media and nippy little runs down the right, he’s now set his sights on making all the women fall in love with him by somersaulting into the crowd and landing on them just so he can give them a kiss. 

What’s a few broken bones when you get a Pinto Peck? My mum’s certainly a new member of his fan club, gleefully announcing “Ooh Ivo Pinto is LOVERLY” in the aftermath. Sadly the chances of him landing anywhere near her in the Upper Barclay are resting on Bradley Johnson mistaking him for a football upon his return with Derby and kicking him into row Z. Or Row C, preferably. CT

Sheffield steel
We didn’t perform, but I can see Sheffield Wednesday being the Middlesbrough of the division this season. They won’t concede many, they won’t score many so any points a team gains at Hillsborough will be fantastic addition. Their style of play reminded me of a Chris Hughton side, and with Brighton once again looking like a force, maybe that tight-fisted defence model is the way forward for the once also-rans in the Championship. JR

Booooooo
Got the shirt? Check. Got your ticket? Check. Make sure your booing game is still ‘on point’ CHECK. Apparently some of those among us felt the need to test out the lowest range of their vocal cords in the first home game of the season. IT’S FAR TOO EARLY.

Now I’ll admit that I booed last season. ONCE.  At half time v Everton, after a frankly abhorrent performance.  It was the only time I’ve ever properly booed. But I’ll argue till I’m green and yellow in the face that it was an appropriate use of a boo. Ringing out the boos after a draw against strong opposition on ‘matchday 2’; we’ve left ourselves nowhere to go. We’ll all be arriving with pitchforks and burning players at the stake come May. 

I know frustration can get the better of us, but people, please think before you boo.  At least consider a simple groan instead. CT

You lookin’ at me?
On Saturday, after each chance, there were about 30-40 people to my left, turning and staring directly at me. Not going to lie, it freaked me out a little, but I assumed they all read The Little Yellow Bird Project and wanted their own ‘on the spot’ Things I Kind of Learned facial opinion on the action on the pitch. 

So I was doing my best to entertainingly gurn my way through the game and still, each bit of action, they turned towards and off I’d go again. My eyebrows were flying, my mouth contorted, and in the 40th minute, as my face was starting to ache, I suddenly realised they weren’t looking at me, they were looking at the new fook off big telly over my shoulder and I just been looked like a goon having a stroke. JR

Who’s playing?
The new fancy smancy, twirly wirly screen is wonderful and all that. But unfortunately us Barclay-enders can’t see it. So on behalf of all of us left to play ‘guess the Sheffield Wednesday player’ I appeal to Adrian Forbes: Please still read out the opposition line up over the Tannoy. Having my neighbour announce “that’s Forestieri” – who hadn’t even travelled with Wednesday – half-way through the second half is proof enough. Let’s keep a bit of Old Skool. This is Norfolk, after all. CT

You can follow Jon Rogers on Twitter at @BigGrantHolt and Clare Thomas at @clarebearthomas